The Illegal Liberation Web Page for the Preservation of Some Very Funny Jokes

The first days of October 1998 saw what may have been the funniest jokes ever posted to the usenet newsgroup alt.fan.frank-zappa. They were devised by AJ Wilkes and have been preserved here without his knowledge or permission, because they're too funny not to. It all started when artwork maestro Cal Schenkel dug up these pictures of Ricky Lancelotti (the singer without a photo on the Over-Nite Sensation album):

Carl Schenkel's pictures of Ricky Lancelotti

When he saw these, JWB exclaimed:

Believe it or not, that is EXACTLY how I pictured Ricky would look.

That was all AJ Wilkes needed. He replied (with links to the pictures instead of the actual pictures, as shown here):

Funny - I pictured him more like this:

ANIMAL from the muppets.com web

Replying to his own message, he added:

And, for that matter, here's George Duke:

ROWLF from the muppets.com web

He continued, in another reply:

And here's Flo & Eddie if they'd have made the '88 tour:

STATLER & WALDORF from the muppets.com web

And another, this time with links to HTML pages rather than just pictures (these two pictures and texts are straight from the muppets.com web site):

Zoot Allures! It's Captain Beefheart!

ZOOT from the muppets.com web 
 
 SPECIAL TALENTS: Playing saxophone, maintaining body
 temperature, making very small talk.
 QUOTE: "Huh?"
 LAST BOOK READ: How to Talk to Anyone
 FAVORITE MOVIE: The Quiet Man
 NEVER LEAVE HOME WITHOUT: His thesaurus

Moon ...

JANICE from the muppets.com web 
 
 INSTRUMENT: Like, you know, guitar, fer sure.
 LAST BOOK READ: Finding Your Past Lives on the Web
 FAVORITE EXPRESSION: "Fer sure, like, fer sure."
 FAVORITE THINGS: Peace, love and, like, granola, totally.
 NEVER LEAVES HOME WITHOUT: Her inner child.

Needless to say, this was very popular. People started posting thank-you messages to AJ. All he did was reply to one of them:

Ike Willis' dreams of stardom in one of St Louis' farming districts:

a Fraggle Rock book from Chris Vaughn's www.clark.net/pub/cvaughn page

The '88 band horn section have an auxilliary meeting:

a Fraggle Rock book from Chris Vaughn's www.clark.net/pub/cvaughn page

Ladies and gentlemen, that's it. Those are the original jokes from early October 1998. Don't try to make your own jokes like these; no one will ever beat AJ, and it's likely that not even he could surpass the above. All pictures and texts on this page were reproduced without permission. Here's hoping you'll like them!

home - vinyl vs CDs - weirdo discography - bootlegs - misc - hot lynx - e-mail us at zappa dot patio at gmail dot com 2006-04-22 20:02

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